The GazettE Insanity
by Tokyo's Single Shinjuu
Summary: A humorous insight into The GazettE's daily lives. I guess it's a little bit of a crack fic? Who knows. Bad summary but read anyway :D!
1. Chapter 1

**Dislcaimer- Sadly I don't own the Gaze boys :(. **

**A/N-What compelled me to write this? Evil plot bunnies who have been stalking my dreams...yes. I dreamt these things. Insane right? Anyway, the following are all my pathetic attempts at humor that I'm hoping you don't completely hate. **

**Another A/N- I love the GazettE and none of the following are meant to offend them or there fans ^_^. Please enjoy**

* * *

Ruki- No! I don't want to stop here! It's dirty and gross!

Uruha-So is you're face but you still show it! I don't give a damn how you feel about it! I'm tired and hungry!

Aoi-*Slam's book on desk* I'm fucking hungry! *turns to Ruki* If you don't like it, don't eat! *Turns to Uruha* Shut the fuck up! You're an ass to everyone around you! Would it kill you to attempt to understand the other persons point of view? *looks at the both of them* God! Can't you guys stop going for each others dicks every two minutes! *Storms into the Bed and Breakfast*

Uruha- -_-*

Ruki- O/O

Reita-Damn

Kai- Amen!

* * *

Reita-What? Pineapple and Ham!

Ruki-Ew! Who the hell wants to eat that? Pepperoni and Banana peppers.

Uruha-Of course Ruki want's to eat the one with the word Banana in it...

Ruki-*stands up* What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Aoi-How about plain cheese?

All- Hell no!

Aoi-Screw you guys then! *walks away angrily* *Passes Kai whos just walking in*

Kai- *Confused* What's wrong with him?

Ruki-He suggested the nastiest pizza in the world!

Kai-Anchovies?

Uruha- No! anchovies are delicious!

Ruki- No they're not! That's disgusting.

Uruha- Bitch! *tackles Ruki*

Ruki- Rape! * bites Uruha*

Reita & Kai- *look at each other.* *Sigh and then tries to break up Ruki and Uruha*

Aoi-*Walks in eating pizza* What's up guys?

Ruki- *grabs him by shirt collar* Where'd you get that?

Aoi- *smirks* I orderderd it while you guys were bitch fighting.

Uruha- Is it anchovie?

Aoi- O_o. Ew! No, of course it isn't! It's cheese!

All- *groan*

* * *

Kai-*Is getting out of shower* *hums quietly*

Ruki- *opens bathroom door with head phones in and eyes closed*

Kai-! What the hell Ruki? Don't you knock?

Ruki- *starts violently head banging and dancing strangely*

Kai- What the hell? Am I being punked? *looks around as he pulls on towel.*

Ruki-* takes off his head phones* *see's Kai* AAAAGH! *screams shrilly* Why are you naked?

Kai- *jumps a little* Why didn't you knock?

Ruki- You're trying to seduce me aren't you?

Kai- What? No, no Ruki you came in he-!

Ruki- No Kai say no more! *tackles Kai* I love you too

Kai- O_O Ruki what the hell are you doing?

Ruki-*kisses Kai*

Aoi- *Walks past bathroom and glances in.* *keeps walking* O_O? *rewinds* Holy shit guys?

Kai-*breaks away* Aoi? It's not what you think!

Aoi- *smirks* Can't you guys keep the door shut? *closes door*

Kai- Nooo! Aoi help! *is cut off by Ruki's lips* on second thought...this is cool too *kisses back*

* * *

Reita- *is reading book*

Kai- *walks in* Hey

Reita-*ignores him*

Kai- fine. Be like that!

Reita-*Sighs* what?

Kai-I'm not telling now!

Reita- ...

Kai-...

Reita-...

Kai-Fine I'll tell you!

Reita- I don't wanna know now

Kai-You bastard! *storms out*

Aoi- *is sitting on counter* That was sadistic. You need help.

Reita-Says the guy who locked Ruki in a closet and insisted that he had to admit he was gay in order to come out.

Aoi-Touche'

* * *

Uruha-*is playing poker with Aoi* *smiles stupidly* look Aoi! It's my pokerface!

Aoi-You dumbass. You're not supposed to tell your opponent what your pokerface looks like!

Uruha- Oh! *Pouts*

Aoi- what is it now?

Uruha-I'm not sad! It's my new pokerface!

Aoi- Damnit Uruha! You told me again!

Reita-Oh just give it up Aoi, he's not going to learn it! That's like Ruki learning how to be observant

Aoi-Very true. Maybe Uruha and Ruki should play together?

Reita- Good idea. RUKI!

Ruki- *comes down stares* *whiny voice* what?

Aoi-Play poker with Uruha

Ruki-Why?

Reita-Just do it

Ruki- Fine! *sits down*

_****two hours later****_

Uruha- *Very intense smile on face*

Ruki-* is staring at cards*

Reita-That worked well

Aoi-Told ya ^_^

* * *

Ruki- Guys look what I can do! *flips microphone repeatedly*

Uruha- That's nothing! Watch this! *spins around in circles with guitar behind head, while playing it*

Kai-...

Reita-...

Aoi-You're both retarded.

Ruki-*accidently releases microphone* *it hits Uruha in nose*

Uruha-Ow! *Accidently releases guitar* *it hits Ruki in shoulder*

Both-*roll around on floor clutching their injured limbs*

Aoi, Reita, & Kai-*try not to laugh*-_O *look again* xD *roll around on floor clutching stomachs*

* * *

Uruha- *Is eating Mconalds*

Aoi- Le gasp! Uruha do you know what's in that burger?

Uruha- *swallows* Meat..?

Aoi- Not really! *lists all of the nasty ingrediants in McDonalds Burgers*

Uruha- That's nasty! *get's up and walks away*

Aoi- *watches him go* hehe, sucker! *eats rest of burger*

* * *

Ruki- *runs inside looking frantic* Kai where's Reita?

Kai- I don't know? I think he went to the grocery store..

Ruki- *stamps foot* NOOO! I _need_ him for something!

Kai-uh...okay? *goes back to magazine.*

Reita- *walks in carrying grocery bags* Uruha? I got your damn Milk!

Ruki- *spins around* Reita!

Reita- Ruki?

Ruki-Reita! *tackles him causing grocery bags to fall to floor*

Reita- Ruki?

Kai-...Kai!

Uruha- What are guys doing? I keep hearing names shouted and it's making Aoi laugh really hard! Oh hey! Milk! *picks up milk and walks away*

Kai- *looks at Reita and Ruki who are kissing passionately on the floor* Um..Hello?

Both- *Aren't listening. Reita is now shirtless*

Kai- Seriously? What the hell! *Ruki's pants are coming off* *Kai shrieks and throws magazine at Reita's head* Aoi help! *runs out of room*

* * *

Reita-*Is listening to music*

Uruha- *walks in and turns it off* Reita I need your help

Reita- -_-* what?

Uruha- *deep breath* IneedtotelltherestoftheguysI'mgay

Reita-...What? A little slower Uru?

Uruha-Reita...I'm gay. How do I tell the guys?

Reita- You don't have to

Uruha- Why not?

Reita- Turn around

Ruki-*Is standing against the wall behind Uruha*

Aoi-*Is leaning in doorway with Kai at shoulder* Good for you Uruha

Uruha- *faints*

Kai- O_O Is he okay?

Aoi- Who cares?

All-Yea true *walk away leaving Uruha on floor*

* * *

(**A/N)-Ok I'm sorry. I know that wasn't funny but...I just had to write it! Could be upcoming chapters, might not? Be on your toes! As always, reviews would be lovely. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Dislcaimer- Still don't own the GazettE...Oh what I would do if I did *daydreams* Oh and I also do not own Invader Zim...though I would like to chill with Gir for a few days :)**

**(A/N)- I have decided to put another chapter up, purely because it amuses me if not anyone else.**

* * *

Ruki-Ne, Uruha?

Uruha-What?

Ruki- You'll never guess what I did to Aoi last night!

Reita-*just walked in but heard that* ...

Ruki-...

Uruha-...

Reita-Do I even want to know?

Ruki-Yes! You do! Sit down! *yanks Reita down next to him*

Uruha-I'm kind of scared

Reita- You and me both

Ruki- Shh you perverts! Listen to what I did! I paid a doctor to put a chip in his brain that makes him happy whenever I flip this switch! *holds up remote*

Uruha- That's awesome!

Reita-Evil!...I like it ^_^

Aoi-*Walks inside holding his guitar and slams the door behind him* Who the hell broke my D string?

Uruha- Flip it now, Ruki!

Ruki- Hehe! *flips the switch*

Aoi- What the fuc-? *blank look*...*smiles slowly/creepily* Hey sexy

Ruki, Reita, & Uruha- O_O! What the hell?

Aoi-*stalks over to Uruha* How about we go somewhere in the back? *straddles Uruha*

Uruha- O_O Ruki switch it back!

Ruki-Right, sorry! *fumbles with switch*

Aoi- *slides hand inbetween Uruha legs*

Uruha- _SWITCH IT BACK!_

Ruki- I'm trying! *drops it* oops!

Reita- *is roaring with laughter*

Aoi- Do you like this Uru?

Uruha- O/O Aoi get off!

Ruki- *remote breaks* Oh screw it! You're on your own Uruha! *walks away*

Reita- Oh yea...he's happy alright. See you Uru! *follows Ruki*

Uruha- You bastards!

Aoi- Shh! It's okay! *they fall on floor*

_****2 hours later****_

Uruha- *is asleep next to Aoi*

Aoi- :)...that dumbass. He actually thought the chip worked *looks at Uruha* gullible bastard.

Uruha- I can hear you, ya know

Aoi- O_O

* * *

Reita- *Is playing DDR* Burn Baby Burn!

Kai & Aoi- *walk inside.*

Kai- Hey Rei-

Aoi-Shh! *clasps hands over Kai's mouth* I wanna see this! *They back away into the corner.*

Reita- DISCO INFERNO! *is addind un-neccessary movement to the game.*

Aoi- *Is dying of silent laughter*

Kai-*is looking rather scared*

Uruha- *comes downstairs in nothing but boxers* Hey baby. ooo I like it when you glisten *kisses Reita*

Aoi & Kai- O_O

Reita- Aww you look sexy. *pushes him onto couch*

Kai- *screams and evacuates building*

Reita- *looks up smirking* Retard actually thought I was serious

Uruha- Aoi why didn't you leave?

Aoi- ...

Uruha-...O_O You horny bastard!

Reita- Yay! *Climbs off Uruha and tackles Aoi*

Uruha- ! What the hell!

Aoi- Go away Uruha! *kisses Reita*

Uruha- *screams louder than Kai and runs out door*

Reita-...

Aoi-...

Reita- I was serious

Aoi- Me too! *go back to doing dirty things*

* * *

Ruki-*is pulling on Reita's arm* Please?

Reita-*doesn't budge* No

Ruki- *pouts* Come on Reita! It'll be fun!

Uruha- *just walked in* What'll be fun?

Ruki- Going to the mall!

Uruha- That would be awesome!

Reita- What? No it wouldn't! It's dirty and smelly and there's to many people!

Aoi- *walks in holding coffee* What's dirty and smelly and has to many people?

Ruki- Your mom!

Aoi-...

Ruki-...sorry

Reita- O_O anyway...the mall is dirty and smelly and overpopulated.

Uruha- It is not! C'mon Ruki!

Ruki- Definitely! *they skip out the door*

Aoi & Reita- O_O What...the..._fuck?_

Kai- *walks in* What's wrong with you guys?

Aoi- *looks at him, then drops coffee*

Reita- *is now paying attention as well* Oh my god, Kai! What the hell did you do?

Uruha- *runs back inside* sorry I forgot my ke- *see's Kai and then freezes*

Ruki- *follows Uruha. He see's Kai as soon as he walks in* What the fuck is on your head?

Kai- *pouts and touches his pink hair softly* Don't you like it?

* * *

Kai- *Is reading a book on the couch*

Ruki-*walks in a sits next to him* Hey Kai! Watcha readin?

Kai-*fumbles the book around and then shoves it behind his back* W-what? Reading? Who's reading? *looks around*

Ruki- -_-* Kai I'm not that stupid! *pulls books from behind his back* Is this? *flips through a couple pages* Oh my god it is! Why do you have Aoi's diary?

Kai- Well...Well... I just kinda...*shrugs* ya know, took it?

Ruki- Well come then! Let's read it! *settles in next to Kai and they start reading*

Reita- *comes in front door dragging Uruha* Just let it _go_ Uruha!

Uruha- *is straining against him.* Never! That bastard touched my perfect hairless legs! Perverted dick-face! *swings rubber chicken around *

Kai & Ruki- *are too absorbed to notice anything*

Reita- Hey guys! * waves* ... *is ignored* Guys?

Ruki- Shh! It's getting good!

Uruha- *is ranting in the background about gay rapists and rubber chicken welts*

Reita- What are you reading?

Ruki- Aoi's diary!

Reita- No way! *sits next to Kai*

Kai- I feel loved ^_^

Ruki & Reita- *give him strange sideways glances*

Kai- What?

Reita- Anyway, what does the fucker write about?

Uruha- *Rants all the way into the kitchen*

Ruki- _Everything!_ Band members and his parents and the songs he writes and just _everything_!

Reita- ooo what's this? *looks closer* Oh my god!

Ruki- What? *looks* Holy shit!

Kai- I never knew he had such a good imagination!

Reita- *shakes head slowly* I don't think he imagined that!

Aoi- *walks in humming nicely*

Ruki- _I DIDN'T DO IT!_ *runs away*

Aoi- O_O? Do what?

Kai- Reita stole it!

Reita- Wha-? *Diary is shoved into his hands as Kai bolts from the room*

Aoi- What the hell is wrong with you guys? *see's book in Reita's hands* What's that?

Reita- I uh it's uh well um *is obviously frozen and terrified*

Aoi- *tries to pull it away* Reita...let me see the book *pulls*

Reita- I'd rather not *pulls back*

Aoi- Look a naked Ruki!

Reita- Where? *looks stupidly*

Aoi- *pulls book away*

Reita- No Aoi don-!

Aoi- *eyes narrow as he looks at the Diary* Mother fucker!

Reita- Aoi I can explain!

Aoi- Aargh! *tackles Reita and proceeds to beat the hell out of him*

_****Meanwhile in the Kitchen****_

Ruki- Poor Reita...should we help him?

Kai- *spit takes tea* Hell no! I'm no going anywhere near Aoi for the next _month_! You know how he gets!

Uruha- -just all need to die! *deep breath* So what's going on with you guys?

Ruki- Were you ranting that whole time?

Uruha- Yea so?

Kai- wow *goes upstairs and Ruki follows*

Aoi- *storms into kitchen* Where's Ruki and Kai?

Uruha- *jumps and points upstairs*

Aoi- RUKI! KAI! YOU BASTARDS BETTER BE_ DEAD_ BY THE TIME I GET UP THERE! *grabs pot from stove and heads upstairs*

Uruha- What the hell is going on? *walks in to living room. He see's Reita's unconcious form and Aoi's diary on the ground* And they say_ I'm _retarted. Tch. *grabs rubber chicken* Now to defeat the perverts of this world! *leaves house and completely ignores the screams coming from upstairs*

* * *

Uruha- *sings ABC's* D, e, f, g-

Ruki- Uruha! Shut up!

Uruha- Oh I'm _sorry _Jesus, would you like some tea and biscuits?

Ruki- As a matter of fact, I _would!_

Uruha- *smacks him in back of head* Screw you!

Reita- *out of nowhere* I would.

Ruki & Uruha- O_O

Reita- What? He's cute! And sticky lookin!

Kai- *from kitchen* _Reita_! This is exactly why you aren't allowed to watch Invader Zim!

* * *

**(A/N)-Wala! Some more pathetic attempts at humor. Oh well, it was fun to write. As always, reviews would be lovely.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Gazeboys or Wal-Mart and their many lists.**

**(A/N)- Another chapter created out of boredom. Please enjoy ^_^**

* * *

Uruha- Hey Reita?

Reita- What?

Uruha- Where do eraser shavings go?

Reita-...

Uruha- Seriously? Where the hell do they disappear to?

Reita-...I refuse to answer that. *walks away*

Kai- *comes in holding a large crate*

Uruha- KAI!

Kai- *almost drops box. Re-adjusts himself* Yes Uruha?

Uruha- Where the hell do eraser shavings go?

Kai- I'm not sure Uruha *Is wobbling under the weight. Tries to walk into the Living Room*

Uruha- *blocks him* I mean they have to go somewhere right?

Kai- *is sweating profusely and his arms are shaking.* I suppose so Uruha. Could we talk about this lat-?

Uruha- Reita wouldn't answer me and I really want to know! You don't have any idea at all? You're smart right? You've gotta know some- *rambles*

Kai-* Is dying slowly under the weight of the crate.* _please_ move Uruha!

Uruha-* Ignores him and continues to ramble*

Kai- -_-* Uruha..._Uruha_? **_URUHA MOVE THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY OR I WILL FUCKING BEAT YOU WITH A LONG AND POINTY STICK AND THEN I WILL LEAVE YOU AT A GAY BAR HALF-NAKED! _**

Uruha- ...*moves out of the way*

Kai- *stalks past him, but almost drops the crate twice*

Uruha- *watches him go with wide eyes* what the hell is his problem?

Aoi-*comes from kitchen with confused expression.* *looks at Uruha* What's wrong with Kai?

Uruha- I asked him where eraser shavings go.

Aoi- Oh. That's lovely *grabs his keys from table* Cya

Uruha- Wait! Aoi I've got a questio-!

Aoi- *waves over his shoulder as he reaches the door* Don't care! *leaves and shuts door behind him*

Uruha- *falls onto couch* who the hell can I ask now?

Ruki- *magically appears behind couch* Ask what?

Uruha-*jumps two feet into the air* Ruki? When the hell did you get there?

Ruki- *confused* I don't really know...

Uruha- O_o...right...well, eto...can I ask you a question?

Ruki- Duh!

Uruha- Ruki...where do eraser shavings go?

Ruki- ...-_-...O_-...O_O! I've got no clue!

Uruha- Exactly! You brush em off your paper and they just disapear!

Ruki- Right? Let's go find out! Both- *skip away in search of pencil and paper.*

* * *

Ruki- *passes Uruha's room. Hear's noises* ? I thought Uruha was out? *stands by door*

Uruha Voice- Reita? I really don't think you're supposed to push it that far in!

Reita voice- Eh? Just bend a little!

Ruki- *is getting confused and rather scared*

Uruha voice- OW! Reit-ta! That hurts like hell!

Reita voice- Don't be such a baby about it!

Uruha voice- How can I not be a baby about it? You're probing around my insides!

Ruki- O_O!

Reita voice- And? Just hold still so I can finish the job!

Uruha voice- O-Ow! *continues to moan*

Ruki- OH MY GOD! *runs away, but falls and then runs away some more*

Reita-*peeks out at Ruki's running form* What's his problem?

Uruha- I don't know but can you please just finish?

Reita- Oh yea right! * goes back to cleaning Uruha's ears* I don't understand why you cant do this yourself.

Uruha- Because! I always miss my ear!

Reita- O_o...yea...right.

* * *

Reita- Im a barbie girl, In a barbie world! *is dancing around his room*

Kai- *opens the door* Rei- *stops dead in tracks*

Reita- *doesn't notice him* I'm made of plastic, it's so fantastic!

Aoi- *walks in behind Kai* Hey Kai, wheres m- *sees Reita and immidiately stops*

Reita- You can brush my hair-

Aoi- And take me anywhere! *starts dancing with Reita*

Kai- O_O *stares at his dancing 'manly' bandmates* ... *backs out of room slowly and shuts the door*

Ruki- *peeks out from bathroom* what's goin on in there?

Kai- Oh trust me...you don't wanna know.

* * *

Aoi & Reita- *are drinking coffee calmly at the kitchen table*

Reita- Something's off.

Aoi- You feel it too? It's to quiet isn't it?

Reita- Yes...whenever it's quite...it means something horrible and annoying is going to happen.

Aoi- True, true. I suppose we'll just have to be ready for when it does. *sips coffee*

_****MEANWHILE** **_

Ruki- Come on Uruha! We can do this!

Uruha- Right! Come on Kai!

Kai- Oh this is a horrible idea...

Ruki- Bad attitude is not allowed in the room of thinking!

Kai- It's a broom closet!

Ruki- Oh hush!

Uruha- Ok...are we ready?

Kai- We REALLY shouldn't do this!

Ruki- Come on Kai! We got this in the bag!

Kai- Ok, ok fine! I'll help you!

_****MEANWHILE****_

Reita- *twitches violently*

Aoi- Reita! Stop it! Twitching isn't going to help us know what the hell they're up to!

Reita- *twitches again*I know! I can't help it! I'm scared shitless!

Aoi- Me too...I'm going to my room...maybe it'll be safe there.

Reita- I agree. I'll go to mine as well

Both- *get up and walk up stairs*

**_*MeanWhile At Wal-Mart**_**

Kai- I don't want to do this!

Uruha- Fine then! I will!

Ruki- *smashes jar* Ok there should be an announcement soon!

Speaker- Clean up in Isle 7

Uruha- *drops to floor* Help me! It's those goddamn voices AGAIN! GO AWAY!

Ruki- *giggles madly and runs toward clothes section*

Kai- I knew I should have stayed with Aoi and Reita! *looks from Ruki to Uruha before following Ruki*

Ruki-*Hides in clothes*

Kai- *walks past*

Ruki- PICK _ME_!

Kai- *screams* What the hell?

Ruki- Kai? It's me Ruki!

Kai- Ruki? *looks around* Where are you?

Ruki-*pokes head out from clothes* Right here!

Kai- *screams again* Stop that!

Ruki- Get in here! *pulls Kai next to him* Try it!

Woman- *starts ruffling through the clothes*

Kai- Buy me! Buy me!

Woman- *runs away screaming*

**_**MeanWhile**_**

Phone- *rings in kitchen*

Aoi- *jogs into room* *puts phone to ear* Hello?

Reita- *follows behind him* Who is it?

Aoi- *holds up hand* Really? Oh I see...that's great. *smirks and holds back laughter* He did that?

Reita- Who did what? *drinks pepsi*

Aoi- Ok thank you *hangs up with a giggle* Ruki, Kai, and Uruha are in jail.

Reita- *spit-take* What? Why!

Aoi- They attempted to finish the '101 things to do at Wal-Mart'...

Reita- ...You've gotta be shitting me...

Aoi- I wish

Both- *are silent and then began to smirk.* *look at each other* *bust out laughing*

Reita- I've gotta admit I was thinking of something worse.

Aoi-Me too

Reita- *puts on jacket* I guess we should go get them.

Aoi-Ah *they go outside* *attempts to open his car door*

Door-*falls off*

Reita-I think Uruha was the last one with your car...

Aoi- *looks at car* On second thought...they can stay a night or two *walks back in house*

* * *

Ruki- *is reading calmly on couch*

Aoi- *runs in screaming shrilly* Ruki! You've gotta help me!

Ruki- *doesn't look up* What?

Aoi- Reita's horny and seems to think that I'm you!

Reita voice- Where are you, chibi?

Ruki- And why does he think you're me?

Aoi-Well I uh, wanted to try something different and it well...it failed...horribly.

Ruki- What is it? *looks up at him* Holy shit Aoi!

Aoi- I know, I know! *hangs blond head in shame*

Reita- *bounds in* Ruki there you are! *hugs Aoi*

Ruki- *clears throat* I'm over here

Reita- *looks very confused* Ruki? But then who's *looks at an un-comfortable Aoi* A-Aoi?

Aoi- Hey dumbass.

Reita- Oh...damn. *releases him* What's with the hair?

Aoi- It's just a fuck-up.

Ruki-it's better than Kai's pink adventures

Kai voice- Fuck you guys!

Uruha voice- Fuck who! Kai you're gay?

Kai voice- Oh shut up Uruha! You and your little man shorts!

Uruha voice- Screw you and your masochistic tendancies *crash*

Ruki-What the fuck?

All- *go towards noise*

Kai & Uruha- *making out on the kitchen table*

Aoi-...talk about sexually frustrated

* * *

**(A/N)- As always, reviews would be lovely. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-I don't and never will own The GazettE or Miyavi *tear* I will never own Nintendo either!**

**(A/N)- I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Ruki-*is drawing on an easel on the porch outside* *hums 'Nakigahara' quietly*

Kai- *comes outside and begins to garden* *hums 'Toguro' quietly*

Ruki- -_-*...oh well *begins to hum again*

Aoi- *comes outside and sits on porch swing with guitar* ... *plays and hums 'The Unbearable Fact' quietly*

Kai- That sounds nice Aoi! *goes back to humming and gardening*

Aoi- Why thank you *continues*

Ruki- -_-*… *changes song to 'Hyena*

Uruha- *comes outside and reads a book* *sings 'The Burial Applicant' under his breath*

Kai- You sound nice Uru-kun!

Uruha- Arigatou Kai *turns page and continues humming*

Ruki- O_o* *growls something along the lines of 'Headache Man'*

Reita- *comes outside without noseband* Ruki have you see-?

Ruki- AAGH! Fuck all of you! Why can't I just sit and draw in _peace_ you little shits! *rips easel in half and storms inside*

Kai- O_O

Uruha- What the hell?

Reita- Did I do something wrong?

Aoi-...now he knows how I feel when he comes home drunk and sings that stupid American song about Gay Bars while I'm trying to sleep.

Reita, Uruha, & Kai- O_O.

Aoi- What? He doesn't do that to you?

Reita, Uruha, & Kai- O_O *shake head in silence*

Aoi-...oh

* * *

Uruha-*Is working a new song*

Aoi- *walks inside and proceeds to tickle the hell out of Uruha*

Uruha- xD What the *gasp* hell? hahahaha stop *gasp, gasp* it!

Aoi-*continues*

Uruha- Shit! *gasp* stop it! *giggle gasp* Haha!

Aoi-*continues*

Uruha- *gasp* hahahaha! *rolls onto floor* I can't take you touching me so much! It's teasy! *runs away laughing*

Aoi- *watches him go* Did you get that?

Kai-*appears from behind couch* Every bit of it. Fan girls are gonna pay BIG bucks for this. Especially since you stare at his ass the whole time.

Aoi- Lie! I did no such thing!

Ruki- *steps out from closet* I was.

Aoi & Kai- O_O

Aoi-How long have you b-been in there?

Ruki- *shrugs* the better part of six hours.

Aoi & Kai- O_O *back away slowly*

* * *

Reita-*is asleep on floor*

Ruki-*comes upon his sleeping figure* Reita? Are you okay?

Reita-*doesn't stir*

Ruki-*shrugs and walks away*

_***10 Minutes Later***_

Uruha-*jogs into room and almost trips over him* what the fuck? Why are you on the ground?

Reita-*nothing*

Uruha-...*walks away*

Kai-*walks downstairs and notices Reita* Rei?

Reita-*lifeless*

Kai-...No more industry parties for you! *goes back upstairs*

_***20 mins later***_

Aoi-*walks past Reita while on phone* Reita? Hello?

Reita-*continues to sleep*

Aoi-*goes back to phone conversation and continues to walk away* what? No, our dumbass bassist passed out on the floor...No I didn't give Him roofies!

_***2 hours later***_

Reita-*sits up dazed* why the hell am I on the floor? *gets up slowly and wanders to kitchen where he finds all other members*

Uruha & Ruki- *are busy arguing*

Aoi-*Reading newspaper*

Kai-*cooking*

Reita-*mumbles* why do I feel like the unwanted child? *shakes head* Hey! Why was I on the floor?

Aoi- Hell if I know.

Uruha-I just saw you lying there *others nod*

Reita-So you all saw me?

All-*Nod*

Reita- So how come no one helped me? And what the hell happened last night?

All-*shrug*

Kai-*smiles* Don't you remember? You went out with Miyavi last night!

Aoi-Oh yea! You even sent us pictures! *grins evilly as he pulls out his phone. He then throws it to Reita*

Reita- *scrolls through pictures* Is that really ..._me_? Oh my effing Jesus! *passes out on floor*

Ruki-...when are you gonna tell him it's photo shopped?

Aoi-When his dumbass stops using my shampoo.

Uruha-You did all this for shampoo?

Aoi-Yea why?

Uruha-Your so...intelligent! Maybe he'll stop using mine as well! Oh happy day! *dances out of room*

* * *

Aoi-*yawns and stretches as he gets into bed* Finally! Sleep! *gets comfortable in bed*

Thunderstorm-*Is taking place outside*

Aoi-*small smile* Not even _you_ could stop me from sleeping.

***Meanwhile***

Ruki-*watches lighting with wide eyes and jumps a little at every thunder* I can do this! I can be strong!

*Tree's snaps outside causing a creepy shadow and a loud crack*

Ruki-_Eep!_ *jumps out of bed and runs straight to the closest room* Aoi please let me stay in here?

Aoi-*annoyed but too tired to deal with it* Whatever, just don't sleep in my bed.

Ruki-Thanks! *lays on floor*

*Loud crack outside*

Ruki-Shit! *dives into Aoi's bed and under the covers*

Aoi- O_O...-_-* Ruki...

Ruki-Please? I won't bother you anymore

Aoi-*sighs* Ok fine!

_***5 mins later***_

Kai-*comes bounding into room*

Aoi-...You can't be serious.

*Loud thunder*

Kai-*leaps into bed*

Ruki-*snuggles him*

Aoi-O_o What the fuck?

*This happens with every member*

Aoi-O_O*

_***The next morning***_

Miyavi-*breaks into house and strolls upstairs* Gazetto? GazeBoy's where are you? *hears snoring from Aoi's room* Aoi? *walks into room*

GazettE-*are lying like small children on the bed with lots of stuffed animals with the exception of Aoi who is sitting on the floor crying*

Miyavi-Aoi? Aoi, are you alright?

Aoi-*rocks back and forth and shakes his head* N-No! *sniff* the stole m-m-my bed! *sniff, eyewipe* and I'm so t-t-_tired_! *hugs Miyavi around his waist and sobs loudly*

Miyavi-*pats his head awkwardly* It's gonna be okay.

Bed-*breaks*

Aoi-*wails like the world is falling apart*

Reita-*wakes up and see's Miyavi* Oh my god! It's you! *flees from room*

Miyavi-O_O what the hell was that?

Aoi-*hands him the phone from nightstand* go to *sniff* pictures

Miyavi-*does as so* ...oh my god! What the hell is wrong with you?

Aoi-I just...wanted to...sho- *falls asleep on Miyavi*

Miyavi-great. Reita thinks I raped him and Aoi is sleeping on me...what else coul- never mind. I don't even want to finish that sentence.

Reporter-*pops out of closet* haha! I'm definitely getting a raise!

Ruki-*wakes up* I smell *looks around* _Reporter!_ *tackles him* Whatever you footage you have you will delete dammit!

Reporter and Ruki-*wrestle around with camera*

Miyavi-...Why did I think it'd be fun to come over here? *sighs and pets Aoi's head. Watches the fight between an angry chibi and a desperate reporter*

* * *

Kai-Okay guys! Come on and make your Mii's!

Rest of Gaze- *walk in*

Ruki-I'll go first! *starts working on his character*

Kai- O_o...Ruki you put woman's eye makeup on your character...

Ruki- _Duh!_ He's got to have beautiful eyes like mine!

Kai- Right then. Here you go Uruha *Hands Uruha the remote*

Uruha-Yes! *starts making his Mii*

Kai-Uruha, you have put lipstick on your character.

Uruha- Of course! He needs lips as luscious as mine!

Kai-...O...kay? Here Reita-*hands Reita controller*

Reita- Joy...*proceeds to design himself in Wii form*

Kai-Reita, that's woman's hair!

Reita- Yea! The men's section doesn't have hair with volume!

Kai-Alright Reita. Here Aoi! *tries to hand remote to Aoi* Aoi?

Aoi-*is dying of a silent laughter attack* You're all so freaking gay!

Ruki-I am not! *hands on hips*

Uruha-I'd like to see how you make your Mii, you bastard!

Aoi-fine then! *takes remote and sets to work*

Kai-...I...Aoi...That's a female Mii.

Aoi-I know.

Reita- tch...and if we're gay you're a flaming homosexual.

Aoi-I am not! *huffs angrily and catwalks away from room*

Uruha-Oh my god guys! Aoi's gay! Why didn't you tell me! *runs after Aoi*

Kai-*face-palm* Is this really _my_ band?

* * *

**(A/N)-For those of you who have never had the pleasure of making a Mii on the Wii, they're basically like avatars of you for your gaming pleasure. You're supposed to make them look like you and you use them to play certain games. **

**As always, reviews would be lovely!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-I do not own The GazettE**

**(A/N)- Sorry I haven't updated in while. I considered not updating because of the Earthquake (I have literally spent an hour today researching the nucleaur plants and checking J-Rockers twitters.) but then realized that didn't quite make sense. So...here you go! Please enjoy.**

* * *

*GazeBoy's are coming off stage*

Reita-Hell yea! We rocked it!

Aoi-*is pumped* Woo! *high fives Reita*

Uruha-*sits in a nearby chair* *smiles slightly*

Ruki-*smiles*

Kai-*collapses on ground* Damn that was lively.

Ruki-You play too hard! Now you've tired yourself out completely. Maybe you should slow down?

Kai-Then they won't be satisfied.

Ruki-You could go slow and steady.

Kai- That's a thou-What the hell is wrong with you two?

Aoi & Reita- *are holding onto each for support as they die of laughter*

Uruha-*replies in a bored voice* Play too hard. Slow down. No satisfaction. Slow and steady.

Ruki-…I still don't get it.

Kai-*gets up and smacks the back of Uruha's head* You freakin perv! *storms away*

Uruha- B-but! I didn't! ugh!

Aoi & Reita-*laugh harder at Uruha's distress*

Uruha- *throws water bottle at Aoi and Reita* You suck!

Reita-Aoi does.

Aoi-*stops laughing abruptly* …

Ruki-…

Uruha-…

Reita-…

Aoi-You just made it awkward :/

* * *

Aoi-*walks past bathroom* Is that? *listens closer* It is!

Uruha- *is singing in shower*

Aoi-*wiggles eyebrows and glances into the room*

Reita-*see's Aoi* Watcha doing?

Aoi-*jumps away from the door* What? Oh nothing. I was doing nothing!

Reita-*listens at door* Uruha's in there isn't he?

Aoi-Is he really? Wow how'd you know his voice so well?

Reita-*snorts* He's been singing around me for fifteen years. Anyway, being that I am his best friend, I feel obligated to tell him you were spying on him in the shower.

Aoi-No! I'll do anything!

Reita-…anything?

Aoi-If it's sexual, I'll have to decline.

Reita-…

Aoi-*backs away*

Uruha-*comes out with his towel on* Why are you guys standing out here?

Reita-Well Aoi was just-

Aoi-*stops staring at Uruha and throws hand over Reita's mouth* -getting him so we can go to the store and buy supplies for Ruki!

Uruha-What does Ruki need?

Aoi-Oh you know Ruki... Just needs weird shit all the time!

Ruki's voice-Fuck you! My stuff has purpose!

Aoi-Oh yea like that silver ball of yarn? What the hell did you do with that?

Kai's voice from downstairs- Ruki if you tell them I will kill you!

Aoi & Reita- O_O

Uruha-…What?

Aoi-That's disgusting!

Reita-*nods slowly* O_O

Reita & Aoi- *move away*

***5 minutes later* **

Uruha-*storms into Ruki's room* *smacks him upside the head* You damned pervert!

_**Part 2**_

Reita-Ah! Here we go! *hands clothing to Aoi*

Aoi- 0_0* No fucking way!

Reita-*pulls out phone* Gee I feel the sudden urge to call Uruha :D

Aoi-…you wouldn't.

Reita-*places phone to ear* Moshi-Moshi Uruha!

Aoi-No! *tackles Reita and hangs up phone* Ok fine!

Reita-Excellent!

Aoi- *frowns*Reita…tell me that's not what I think it is.

Reita-What?...O_O! Nope! That's my spare pencil!

Aoi-..why would you have a pencil in your boxers?

Reita-Because I like the feeling of wood against my legs!

Aoi-…

Reita-*screaming frantically* You don't know my life!

_**Part 3**_

Aoi-God I hate you for this.

Reita-Go on Aoi! The fans are waiting.

Aoi-*glares intensely as he sits down in his chair of signing* *mumbles angrily about Reita*

Fangirl 1- Oh my Gaze! It's Aoi! OMG! Sign this! *she shoves pictures at him*

Aoi-*attempts to smile but fails* It's nice to meet you.

Fangirl 2- Oi? Is Aoi-Sama wearing a…pink Lolita skirt?

Fangirl 3- Oh…my…gaze. He is! He looks so Kawaii!

*fangirls begin taking pictures*

Aoi-*glares at Reita*

Reita-*smiles back happily*

_***The Next Day***_

Uruha-*flips through magazine* Wow Aoi! You're on the top of list for sexiest J-Rockers in a skirt!

Aoi- -_-* Great.

Reita-*is posting pictures of Aoi's skirt in every blog he can find.*

Ruki- *walks in holding phone away from ear.* *a voice is heard screaming through it* Aoi? Bou wants to talk to you…now.

Aoi-Bou? An Café's ex-guitarist? Alright… *takes phone* Hello?

Bou voice- You son of a bitch! I have been number one hot Lolita guitarist for six fucking years! Who the fuck do you think you are!

Aoi-O_O I'm sorry!

Bou voice- Fuck sorry! Open your front door!

Reita- Oh it's alright Aoi-kun! I'll get it! *skips to door* Oh hey Bou!

Bou-*storms inside and attacks Aoi*

Reita-…*begins taking pictures* Could this get any better?

* * *

Ruki & Uruha- *are playing happily with a slinky*

Ruki- Hey Uru?

Uruha- Yea? *pushes slinky down the steps*

Ruki-*fidgets* You don't think we're too old for this sort of thing?

*Aoi and Reita push past them on steps playing with "action figures"*

Aoi-*makes gun noises* I'll get you Jesse! I swear I'll dig your grave!

Reita-You'll have to catch me first! *runs towards kitchen*

Ruki & Uruha-…

*Miyavi and Kai move into living room swinging light sabers at each other*

Miyavi- I will get you darth vader!

Kai-You can't kill me for I am….You're father!

Miyavi-*drops to his knees* NO! FATHER! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME SO?

Ruki-Never mind. I know that answer.

Uruha-Me too. We are definitely too old to be playing with slinkies.

Ruki- W-What? B-but Miyavi and Kai and Aoi and…*trails of because Uruha has grabbed slinky and walked away* damn! What do I do now?

Uruha-*reappears in a fancy shawl and dress* We're finally old enough to play dress-up!

Ruki-…

Uruha-…

Ruki-…_**FINALLY!**_ *gets off stairs and runs to his closet of clothing*

* * *

Aoi-*is composing new song*

Kai-*watches with interest*

Aoi-…What?

Kai-…I can't just watch a friend?

Aoi- In this band? No.

Kai- Ah. True I guess.

Aoi-yea…

Kai-*continues to sit there*

Aoi-…

Kai-*stares intently at him*

Aoi-Kai seriously what the hell?

Kai- I can't tell you.

Aoi-What? Tell me what?

Kai-I can't!

Aoi-*gets on knees* Please? Please,_ please_, _**PLEASE**_!

Kai-*smirks* You'll see later Aoi-kun. *walks away*

Aoi-*reaches towards him* But-but!

Kai-*closes door to recording studio* Bwahahaha!

Miyavi- I got it! *jumps spastically*

Kai- Great! Once I post those pictures of Aoi on his knees in front of me, the whole world will know that I am Seme to even the manliest men!

Miyavi- Happy! *spins in circles*

Kai- Very good Miyavi. This is why you are my partner in crime and not my retarded bandmates.

Miyavi- Pleased! *hugs Kai*

Kai-Come Meevs! To the lab! *begins to walk*

Miyavi-…Miyavi! *runs after him*

* * *

**(A/N)- I know it's short but my funny juices are running _really _low. I hoped you liked it. As always, reviews would be lovely. **

**Another Authors Note- I'm really interested in doing a co-authored (I think that's what it is) fic kind of like this only about ALL j-rockers I know of. If anyones interested please PM me! (I know that was shameless advertising :)**


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